Gosh, what’s this – an update from AngloAm? Geddout, it couldn’t be!
Sorry for being away
I love Halloween. It gave us an excuse this year to go out to dinner and stay out late to avoid the junior extortionists. C & I went to the Longhorn and I had ribs! ribs! ribs!, which I love. Thursday was a bad day for me; I suspect that I’d managed not to take my anti-depressant for a while so Thursday evening I started down a nasty “you’d be better off without me” “you should just leave me” type of spiral. I just wanted to cry and do things that would enhance my sadness and self-pity…yet I was also nervous because, you see, I know that I don’t have to think that way. Friday I went to see my counsellor and he suggested I call my shrink…but…when I got home I found my pill box bereft of the anti-d. Hmmmm. I feel much better today.
He also suggested I find a career counsellor to help me figure out, from my interests and qualifications, what job I’d prefer to be doing and what I’d have to do to get it. I can’t say I like my current job; it’s merely an income stream. I do like the commute. But that’s all.
All caught up?
That brings us to today – I had a session with Neal the Personal Trainer Guy which wasn’t typical; my ‘snozz machine’ (CPAP) must have fallen off during the night so I woke up more sluggish than usual, more tired; so we just discussed my ‘intake.’ Which is pretty bad. I know from doing a forty minute walk this week I could do more exercising (output) but it’s so easy for me to overeat. If I can’t figure out how to do better with WeightWatchers, I don’t know what I’ll do. My brother’s having success on South Beach. I would appreciate any suggestions.
A quiet beauty
Driving to work the other morning I wished I had a better picture than my cell phone camera. The sunrise was a riotous orange against the cobalt blue of the morning sky. Here are some pictures which do it an injustice (you can click them to make them bigger). What struck me was here was this stupendous beauty and it’s so easy for us to be so caught up in our own worlds that we don’t notice it. It didn’t shout for my attention, it didn’t grab me by the collar, it didn’t make a huge self-serving fuss like so many man-made things of beauty or objects of art. It simply was there, not giving a damn who saw, but glad to be seen. (Anthropomorphizing like mad!)
Now, acts of friendship and love are like that, aren’t they? They’re not only the big showy gestures, the diamonds, the romantic vacations…they can be more beautiful, like foregoing a chance to score a point in an argument, like being more sensitive to your partner’s moods than your own ideas about them, like listening without planning what you’re going to say next, like remembering he likes some little thing done a certain way and quietly doing it that way. Like not mentioning something over dinner that may be hurtful or embarrassing, or remembering to pay a small compliment.
And how many of those acts of love go unremarked? Unthanked? And when we let them go by, don’t we remain stupidly blind to their beauty? Don’t we make our world a little colder, a little duller, than it really need be?
(This has been quite long enough. I’ll do more catching up in the next post)