Well, it looks like I can keep the prize for the Theme Thursday; what Dean Cain, Rupert Graves, James Marsden and Jake Gyllenhaal have in common is that all of them have played gay men; Dean Cain and Rupert Graves twice. I saw the James Marsden film the other day (The 24th Day) and I was very impressed; it’ll be on my Amazon.com wish list. I liked it because it touched on a question I tried to answer when I was looking at religion; no matter what I think is the truth, or what you think is the truth, or in many cases, what we tell ourselves is the truth, there is an actual truth, the truth, that exists independent of our knowing it or wanting it to be. Or maybe not; I believe philosophers have argued the question with more elegance and precision than I could. Either way, I don’t understand why this movie isn’t better know. Note to friends, although the two characters did share a tryst, it’s not a ‘gay’ movie so if I do buy it and suggest it as a group watch, don’t roll your eyes! 🙂 (Love you all and how well you know me.)
So how did I lose my old Bessamatic? Well it’s a story of shame and self-blame. I threw it away. I was moving from an apartment in Arlington to one in Alexandria in 1999, preparatory to C’s arrival from Australia. I procrastinated and procrastinated over the packing; the day before my friends were to move me I was still futzing around, watching a Friends marathon and getting little done. About 11 p.m., I bucked my ideas up and began to pack; and realized that quite a bit was to be done. In the panic at about 3 a.m., I just took everything that I thought
sacrificeable couldn’t see a use for hadn’t packed, and just threw it into garbage bags and put it into the dumpster. Sadly, a vintage Voightländer Bessamatic, with a telescoping lens, in working nick, was included. Stupid stupid stupid of me. I jettisoned quite a bit during that move, including my entire vinyl collection. Thinking back on it, I just remember feeling so alone and panicky, and I am actually reproducing that feeling now, in my gut.
Luckily the last move I made, in 2001 was done with C and the help of movers. C and I do sit on our comfy seats too much, get too little done, indulge our procrastination too much, but when we’re motivated, when we pull ourselves up, we can really move mountains (or households, with the help of movers!). We packed everything ourselves, playing Bonde do Tigrão over and over again on the stereo. Even now, while I think of the one move with despair, whenever I hear “Sai do Chão! Sai do Chão! Esse e o Bonde do Tigrão!” I have a bit of pride and a really fond memory of working with my beloved partner to build our wonderful life together. I love loving him.
All things must pass and I’m going to have to find a new obsession; it’s going to be hard to say good bye to Sakis, although he does seem a bit resigned to it….What made Sakis such a good candidate was the wide variety of pictures and videos of him on the net, same for Michael Lewis; I’ll have to examine the candidates carefully. There may be one more Sakis spurt before the big change, but I promise you the new obsession, whoever it may be, will be worth the long wait.
(Awww…parting is such sweet, postponeable sorrow)