C & I had a very nice weekend but didn’t get much done! 😦
Friday we went to see my counselor. I’ve been feeling very negative about my job lately. I do like the commute but I find it more and more difficult to get excited about what I do. Partially because there’s not really enough for me to do. Partially because I’m asked to take on the role of management controls coordinator, which I know little about. And partially because, well, it just doesn’t interest me. I feel sometimes like my real career is something else, something different, more attuned to my real interests and talents, but I have no idea what to do with that.
I watch some people in my field and they are so excited about it; frankly I don’t see how they can be. I’m glad to know the mechanics of it, but there’s so little scope here especially that I’m frustrated and bored most of the time.
Alan (counselor) asked me to rate my job from 0 (lowest) to 10 (highest). I came in at about 1.5-2. Big steaming pile of crap.
And I feel guilty of course; who knows if a changed career would be as renumerative as my current job at least at first, so I’d be asking for generalized familial sacrifice. But then I feel guilty about everything.
I was glad C was with me so we could talk it all over. Alan suggested that I talk to a career counselor to help me set, refine, and reach goals (or something like that). What do you think? The more I hang about here the more I am convinced that I need to do something.
After the appointment C & I went to a German bakery to get Stollen and Laugenbrötchen. Laugenbrötchen are ‘lye rolls’ made in exactly the same way as pretzels, they have the same dense chewy centers and the dark glossy outer surface that comes from a dip in a solution of lye. Mmmmm so good. I think in the New Year I shall try to make them. When I lived in Germany we’d get either Laugenbrötchen or Brezeln (pretzels) from kiosks on the street, sliced with butter and cheese or Schmaltz (rendered goose fat). Mmmmm Brezeln mit Schmalz.
Then we had lunch at Green Field Churrascaria. Burp. Waddle.
Then a few errands and out to dinner with friends. One of the errands was to get the photos back (finally) from the photo finisher. They don’t look bad for a forty year old camera, do they? There’s a shot of our car in the driveway, the office building I work in, the view from my desk at work, and autumn leaves in our front yard (beware, that one’s quite big when seen full size).
Neal came by; good session. Guess what? He gave me a referral to a career counsellor who he says helped him. I’ve decided to try working out at the gym on base; have to go tomorrow to (a) find it and (b) screw up the courage to go in and use it. Lazed about a bit after that and then went to my friends, K & D & J’s Christmas Party. We had a good time, but I felt a bit bad not having any presents to bring – one of them, just one, is yet to arrive, so we felt it best to wait until we could pass out all of them at once. Got home rather late.
Well, this really was the weak end of the weekend; we did very little and I think it irritated both of us. Somehow, lazing about feels fine until you realize you’ve suddenly left everything undone and then you feel guilty and angry. We’ve not had K&D&J over in ages, and my mum and dad are coming over soon for Christmas dinner, and my friends R & N and their three are coming in January. (More about the R & N later.) So we’re feeling a bit pressured.
A Video Funny
I don’t know if you have to be from Baltimore to understand all this but I bet it helps. I can’t embed it – sorry.
A Video Sexy
Luckily I can embed this video of Carlos Ponce singing “Mujer Con Pantalones,” and coincidentally I found this still from the video too. Isn’t he arresting? I think the song’s title is “Woman With Trousers” in inglés. Why he can’t sing about liking Hombres Sin Pantalones I don’t know. I’d hum along…
Risking it All for Us
(Let’s get back to that ‘sin pantalones’ thing again, may we?)