Well, I’ve come to clarity. I was told, in the most definitive way, that (a) I could not hold off on coming over to the new job for the final clearance (b) the final clearance wasn’t guaranteed, and (c) if I didn’t get it, I’d be ‘removed,’ a euphemism for ‘fired.’ No attempt to find me another job in the government, bye-bye 23 year career, on my ass at 42 with a firing on my resume. In this economy. So not worth it.
Even though I’m 99% certain I’d get the upgrade, that’s not enough with a mortgage.
Even though it would have been a raise, the extra money wouldn’t make up for six, twelve, or eighteen months of uncertainty and worry.
So I’ve turned it down. Yes, the possible boss was ever so handsome and nice, and I wouldn’t have minded at all being under him :). Yes, it would have stretched my wings a bit. Yes, it would have gotten me out from where I am. But I’ve learned I’m very risk-averse, and that’s just how I’m built. There’s little point wishing it were otherwise, and more payoff in accepting it. C says he does. And I believe him.
And he’s the only person, along with myself, that I have to please in this world.
To all my nice commenters
Thank you. More eye candy to come. 🙂