Clarity At Last

Well, I’ve come to clarity. I was told, in the most definitive way, that (a) I could not hold off on coming over to the new job for the final clearance (b) the final clearance wasn’t guaranteed, and (c) if I didn’t get it, I’d be ‘removed,’ a euphemism for ‘fired.’ No attempt to find me another job in the government, bye-bye 23 year career, on my ass at 42 with a firing on my resume. In this economy. So not worth it.

Even though I’m 99% certain I’d get the upgrade, that’s not enough with a mortgage.

Even though it would have been a raise, the extra money wouldn’t make up for six, twelve, or eighteen months of uncertainty and worry.

So I’ve turned it down. Yes, the possible boss was ever so handsome and nice, and I wouldn’t have minded at all being under him :). Yes, it would have stretched my wings a bit. Yes, it would have gotten me out from where I am. But I’ve learned I’m very risk-averse, and that’s just how I’m built. There’s little point wishing it were otherwise, and more payoff in accepting it. C says he does. And I believe him.

And he’s the only person, along with myself, that I have to please in this world.

To all my nice commenters

Thank you. More eye candy to come. 🙂


Filed under Work

4 responses to “Clarity At Last

  1. tim

    The question you answered for yourself is that it’s NOT worth the uncertainty and risk. Now, you can go about your life without a cloud hanging over you. We only live once, and I say we need to enjoy ourselves more, especially professionally. I, for one, am tired of me worrying myself needlessly over stuff that, in the end, doesn’t mean a lot. Good for you!

  2. Karen

    I completely agree with the first comment. A few years ago (ok, a lifetime ago) I left a Gov’t career for my current job. I was miserable where I was in the Gov’t and was enjoying this part time so I made the switch. Some people thought I was crazy for “giving up” the benefits I had (holidays, annual leave, health insurance, more money) for what seemed to them to be “less.” But I really love what I do now and even with all the craziness (like we’ve had this afternoon) I am so much happier here than I was there. Ok, so my paycheck is smaller but so is my worry and stress. And a less-stressed me at work makes for a better home life, too.

  3. angloam

    Thanks, Tim. You’ve got a good outlook on life and one it’s taken me a while to adopt.

  4. angloam

    I was probably one of those people, Karen. I was wrong.

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