I’m somewhat displeased with myself.
Today I weighed myself. I’d lost 0.4 lbs after two weeks’ doing pretty much what I damned well pleased. Including some exercise. Not a whole lot but some.
So I entered this into Weight Watchers’ site, and had the ‘brilliant’ idea to go back to yesterday and enter all my intake for that day. See, today’s Tuesday and Monday is the day my WW week starts. So I did. I entered the sensible breakfast, generous lunch, FOUR CADBURY CREME EGGS, and pizza.
I ate all my points for the day, and all my ‘bonus’ points for the week. 😦
To top things off, today as I was heating my lunch, I ‘just happened’ to notice some cake left in the office fridge. And ‘just happened’ to eat four slices of it. I imagine that takes care of the next two weeks’ points as well. 😦 😦
So I’d better hit the treadmill, right?
Well, I didn’t go Friday, or Saturday or Sunday or Monday. I’m not making any excuses but I hate to go when I feel I need to be available to C to take him out and about on errands. After working out the last thing I want to do is hit the stores. I wish sometimes he could go by himself. Or that I would feel peppier after exhausting myself. 😦 😦 😦
Tonight I’m at my counsellor so no gym, and tomorrow I have an appointment so same thing. 😦 😦 😦 😦
So I’m disgusted with myself and frustrated with myself, and aware that something has to change. I just don’t know what or how. My counsellor suggested I stop BS’ing myself and that I stop feeling sorry for myself. No whining that it’s mummy’s fault or that daddy’s to blame.
That doesn’t help when you’re living with the aftermath, when your stomach’s full of sugar and flour and disappointment, and feeling bloated. And your back hurts from holding it up.
And you’ve failed yourself.
Any advice, anyone?
Perhaps I should read my way out of this mess, I wonder if Mr. Valent’s book has any worthwhile suggestions?
(Even he’d give up on me and why not, when I give up on myself? At least C won’t, thank God)
(Hey, this is supposed to be a funny little ending piece. I’m not up for it, today. Sue me.)