A Bona Fide Zero

A companion piece to yesterday’s entry about a great and good man, here’s a bit about an unpleasant little man who really is a zero. Or less.

He’s called for the death of President Obama. And very likely instigated one of his parishioners to show up at a “town hall” where the president was going to speak, brandishing a gun. Yes, parishioners. Because this little ball of ignorance is a “minister” of a “church,” the “Faithful Word Baptist Church – Independent” which finds its home in a storefront in a shopping center in the otherwise decent city of Tempe, Arizona.

If you didn’t know Steven L. Anderson, you’d probably suspect he was a butch gay man – with his short cropped hair, wide open face, fine body – the kind of guy who drives a jeep, wears lots of plaid shirts, and generally tries to appear very lumber-jacky. I mean, on the surface he’s a real all-American cutie. Inside it’s a whole other silly and sad story.

Now before I go on, I have to say the following:

HARDLY ANY CHRISTIANS ARE LIKE THIS PERSON

I don’t want people accusing me of saying that there are legions of lunatics like Steven L. Anderson in the body of Christianity. There aren’t. The religion would have been laughed out of existence before Paul’s letters ever reached Cappadocia.

Now that we’ve got that settled, Steven L. Anderson goes from being silly, like preaching that every man in Germany pees sitting down (a lie) whereas he, as a real man, pees the way God intended, standing up, and that if the country isn’t careful, peeing standing up will be made illegal. He also figures that Barack Obama pees sitting down, anybody who translated the Bible since the King James edition pees sitting down, all other preachers pee sitting down. He declares, with great firmness, that when he goes back to Germany he’s gonna piss standing up to show them he’s a man. I swear, I couldn’t make stuff like this up:

But what gets me worried more than this preacher’s evident obsession with water sports, is that he has called for the President and for me to be killed.

Don’t believe me? Here’s the quote:

“You’re gonna tell me that I’m supposed to pray for the socialist devil,” asked Anderson, rhetorically, referring to Obama, “[this] murderer, infanticide, who wants to see young children, and he wants to see babies killed through abortion and partial birth — and all these other things — you’re gonna tell me I’m supposed to pray for god to give him a good lunch tomorrow, while he’s in Phoenix, Arizona. Nope. I’m not going to pray for his good. I’m going to pray that he dies and goes to hell. When I go to bed tonight, that’s how I’m going to pray.”

Still think I’m making this up? Take a listen to his hour long ramble.

He also believes that gays should be given the death penalty, as well as children who curse their parents and adulterers. Just like in old Afghanistan.

Part II on this little irritant is coming up next, in which we will further delve into why his rantings are more than just a fart in the wind.

Hint: As this shows, it’s certainly not for his power of poetry…

Our kids used to know “Amazing Grace”

Now they know “Will and Grace”

They used to know “In the sweet by and by”

Now they know “Queer eye for the Straight Guy”

They used to know “How great thou art”

Now they know “Homer Simpson and Bart”

They used to know “To God be the Glory”

Now they know “A Shark Tale” and “Toy Story”

They used to know “Blessed Assurance”

Now they know “Bel Air Fresh Prince”

They used to know “Close to thee”

Now they know “VH1” and “MTV”

They used to know “My Faith Has found a Resting Place

Now they know “Star Trek” and “Lost in Space”

They used to know “Wounded for Me”

Now they know “CSI Miami”

They used to know “Send the Light”

Now they know “Entertainment Tonight”

They used to know “Revive Us Again”

Now they know “Seinfeld” and “Friends”

They used to know “On the Solid Rock I Stand”

Now they know “Sponge Bob” and “Spiderman”

They used to know “At the Cross” and “He lives”

Now they know “Everybody hates Chris”

They used to know “Shall We Gather”

Now they know “Ted Kopple” and “Dan Rather”

They used to know “Whiter than Snow”

Now they know “The Late Late Show”

They used to know “Sweet Hour of Prayer”

Now they know “A Current Affair”

They used to know “When We See Christ”

Now they know “Desperate Housewives”

They used to know “Keep Nothing Between”

Now they know “Billy Graham” and “Joel Osteen”

They used to know “On Zion’s Hill”

Now they know “Oprah” and “Dr. Phil”

They used to know “When we all Get to Heaven”

Now they know “Frasier” and “7th Heaven”

They used to know “Oh Say But I’m Glad”

Now they know “My Two Dads”

They used to know “He hideth My Soul”

Now they know “American Idol”

They used to know “There is a Fountain”

NOW THEY GO TO THE MOVIES AND WATCH “BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!”


Oh, the humanity. Oh, the inanity.

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Filed under Culture, Gay, Politics

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