My Story

This is part one of a series of posts I’ll put up as part of my implementing a program of losing fat.

Don’t worry, eye candy will be back soon!

I was always averse to sports. One reason was that I never knew how to play the games. I remember the times that I was sent out to play football (soccer) in school in England having no idea what to do, except an idea that I was wrong. Oh, and it was cold all the time.

But then we came to America and it got worse. I was always shy about my body and I hated having to change in gym class. But that was only half of it. First off I was totally unprepared for how hot it was. Then because I was different I was (quite ironically) called the class faggot which was very traumatic. I think then I began to really think of a huge gulf between me and ‘normal guys.’ The teasing and verbal abuse was constant. I remember feeling very disgusted and almost raped when we had to play ‘shirts versus skins.’ Why was I made to partially disrobe? I felt so annoyed. I can remember the feeling today. I went from not quite knowing how to play soccer and cricket to having no idea how to play baseball or basketball.

And of course home life was full of turmoil. I think that this is when I began to ‘sneak’ food from my parents’ fridge and kitchen cupboards. I remember it was my way to have something ‘special’ in my life, and in some way it was my role in the family–in that I always did it, and they always moaned. It didn’t matter what I ate; cheese or savory things, or sweets. It was all the same. I thought of myself as very clever avoiding sometimes getting caught, but I was caught and moaned at all the time.

Things got a little better in high school and I was even in the marching band, but my sense of being utterly out of place in athletics was pretty much set. I did have one gym teacher who set me to running around the track, but then I got shin splints and between that and my moaning he gave up. In high school I pretty quick figured out that if I took ‘recreational games’ for my mandatory gym class, I would get to see the football studs (oh, Stewart Brandenburg how gorgeous you were) taking a PE class without exerting themselves, while not exerting myself. One horror though; I was mistakenly placed in a weightlifting class. I show up and all I hear is about sweaty balls in jock straps and stuff – again with the unwanted sexual references – and I skedaddled to the guidance and scheduling office toute de suite to get back into my desired class. Why all this emphasis on sexual innuendo when you’re teaching a skill and encouraging performance? And at such an age when these things are shameful for being too developed or not developed enough…or as in my case, developed in the wrong direction.

PE teachers, please, treat your students like students, there to learn and not to hear about testicles or to be forcibly stripped. Honestly. Try.

3 Comments

Filed under Exercise, Resolutions

3 responses to “My Story

  1. Ah, after reading this, now I understand why you watch my videos.

    Wish you the best in your journey!

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