Tag Archives: Marriage

Another Less Than 24 Hours

Less than 24 hours until C and I wing our way to California to get married!!!!

We’re leaving tomorrow morning bright and early, flying from BWI to Atlanta, then Atlanta to San José. There, we’ll rent a car, drive through San Francisco, over the Golden Gate, and to Sacramento (I know, it’s a round about way). We’ll tie our knot in Sacramento and then on to Sonoma County for a few days’ relaxation, wine and olive oil tasting, to dip my feet into the Pacific Ocean, see a Russian colonial fort, possibly a periodic geyser, and generally feel marvellous. (Or crowded, October is high season in the wine country.)

Monday we will “do” San Francisco properly and Tuesday morning we wing and jet our way back the way we came.

I have to admit to being a bit concerned about two things…

AngloAm’s Concerns

Concern 1:  The flight. Intellectually, I know that flying is very very safe indeed. You are sixty-five times more likely to be killed driving on rural Interstate highways (the safest kinds of roads in the country) than flying the same distance. There are so few airplane accidents that the NTSB no longer studies domestic mishaps only, but has to also study successful flights to fine tune them. Pilots have families too and would never do the job if it were really terribly dangerous. Yesterday there were just under 30,000 flights in the US and all landed successfully.

But. I still imagine how it would be to know that you were plummetting to your death. That one, two, four, ten minutes knowing that you and all your flightmates will be crashing, and being utterly unable to do anything about it. What would that be like? I close my eyes and sort of approach imagining it but I can’t – my mind recoils in horror and fear.

That’s the lottery nobody wants to win, and that’s what I’m most terrified as in gut-wrenching, butterflies-in-the-tummy scared. I feel this overwhelming desire to flee. Yet I know I won’t. I can recognize this anticipatory anxiety for what it is, yet I still feel it. And once again, I’m relying on C for strength. Sometimes I feel such a burden.

Concern 2:  Being too fat to get down the aisle boarding. Being too fat to fit in the seat (at least I have that in common with nearly everyone since seat widths haven’t kept pace with people’s posteriors’ widths!). Being too fat to fit in the bathroom (a big concern when we fly to Australia – I can ‘keep it in’ for five hours, but not for fourteen!). The plane tilting to one side because of my weight (stupid; all the passengers, their luggage, and cargo only accounts for 20% of a plane’s weight). We’ve bought three tickets (one for me, one for my fat ass, and one for C) but I don’t know if we can afford that for Aus (or the UK) and I would hate for my blubber to be the reason C can’t go home and see his family.  😦

Good week? Not so much.

I’ve been pretty bad this past week with exercise and eating. Let’s just leave it at that, shall we? Neal the ex-personal trainer man wants me to write him a reference. I will, but I’ve forgotten to/put it off until now. If I have time tonight I will. If not he’ll have to wait until we get back. I’ve just lost my earring with my birth stone on it. 😦 And, because of another engagement last night, I never got to watch Chuck. I hope our VCR (yes, so retro!) taped it.

…sorry

I keep being nervous about the flight. Perhaps looking at Adam Baldwin, here in a promo picture and screen cap (thank you, Adam Baldwin Archives) from the next movie with His Adamness I’ll get from Netflix, DC Cab, will calm me down.

 

Adam Baldwin in DC Cab

(Did it get you calm too?) 

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Once a week

Once a week isn’t much, is it?  Tsk tsk – Must Do Better.

At any rate, last Sunday we went to our good friends’ house over on the Eastern Shore of Maryland to play in their pool and enjoy a lovely rib dinner. Mmm good…far too good and I overindulged a bit, so Monday I was only down by a bit less than a pound. 😦

Monday I went to see my orthopedist about my knee and we decided to try a course of something called Synvisc to see if it will help; they’re trying to get it pre-approved by my insurance so I bet I’ll have to drop off the script next week. I had hyalgan before and it’s worked great so if Synvisc doesn’t, or only lasts a while, I’ll try that again.

Tuesday and Wednesday are a bit of a blur at the moment, but by Thursday I was doing so well on my activity and diet that I’d lost an additional 2 pounds. Friday I think things went off the rails a bit. First, I got a parking ticket at work because I forgot to put my handicapped parking placard out. There goes $155. Then I (wrongly) thought that C would be furious so my tension made (allowed? encouraged?) me to pick a rather overdramatic fight with him, and to skip working out. This was rather silly as I’d been looking forward to it since we were dismissed early and all and Thursday and Wednesday there was a rather good amount of EC at the gym. Instead I went home. We were all made up and went out with our friends for sushi. C & I overate grossly but it was all so good.

Today I didn’t work out or see Neal as we took my dad out to lunch. We went out to a Pho restaurant in Crofton where he lives and I was pleasantly surprised; they had a very extensive menu and it was quite good. He can be annoying, not horrible, not mean, but sometimes annoying. He was bound and determined to go to this pho place and so we did. Mind you I get this horrible feeling when he talks about his problems; I’m not used to frailty in my parents. It gives me all sorts of forebodings, and then I think about C missing his parents and wishing we could make as big a fuss over them as we do over mine, or even just wishing he could hug them. I wish I could make him happy and not miss them. He’s really wonderful and so giving but I’m never sure if he’s really content here. Maybe that’s why I never really feel impatient with him or that I’m giving too much, the way I did with previous “partners” – I want to give to C, to give and give and give and yet no matter what I get so much more happiness from him than I feel I have the power or ability or specialness to give him.

Visited with my mum afterwards for tea and got some good recce on wineries we may want to visit when in California. If it weren’t for the flight and my fear thereof I’d be a lot more keen on the trip. I am keen on marrying C but I dread the flight over there. Mind you I’m looking forward immensely to being there, I hope everyone understands. Then on the way to gas up we went to the Odenton Dairy Queen and I had a large malted. 😦  I am just just just keeping within my points, and I have have have to go work out tomorrow.

Plans for tomorrow then in no particular order:

  1. Bake bread (must make the sponge tonight)
  2. Work out, including make a list of the strength equipment available (and if I have the guts which ones I can actually fit on without looking like a solid blob)
  3. Do Georgian
  4. Put up more photos on our ‘other’ website (once again, all you have to do is ask for the URL but it’s not public).

You know, I’ve been so blessed with great friends around me, people I know that I don’t deserve but who for some reason or other enrich my life. They’ve been there for me so many times; times I’ve had virtually no money and was eating cup-a-soups for lunch and dinner, had my phone and electric cut off, was down to my last few bucks. They’ve fed me and let me stay on their sofas and I never feel I could do enough to repay them, but I would if I had the chance and knew what to do. That’s my trouble often — a lack of imagination. I’m great at getting or taking what I need, but not always so hot at responding to the needs of others, mainly because I guess I figure I let my needs be known, quite well(!) so others will too. I don’t know where I’m going with this so before I get all awkward (or boring) I’ll stop as a word to the wise is always enough.

Let’s lighten the mood and make it as sunny as Owen Wilson’s blond locks, shall we? Here is a smorgåsbord of him for your viewing pleasure. Oh, and Karen commented correctly, the mystery man is Oliver Hudson and his sister Kate used to date Mr. Wilson (O.). Since O. Hudson (not O. Wilson) is a big fave of C’s he’ll be back soon, as will more Boys from Brazil, but for now, let’s gaze on the sexiest broken nose in Hollywood…

(By the sights of what’s below his right elbow in the speedos shot, Mr. Wilson’s having a great day…)

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Thawing, Thankfully

It was soooo cold at Lobby Day yesterday in Annapolis, but I’m glad I went. The rally was well-attended, there were said to be about 500 people, although I think it was really a bit fewer. However, it started at 4:30 (I got there at 4:10) and ended around 5:30, and all that time was spent by poor old me in the cold. The very cold. I think it was the coldest day of the winter so far. I sat on the cold brick wall and tried to be enthusiastic. There were a few state legislators there, from the Gay and Lesbian Caucus, speakers from the ACLU and the NAACP, and a very inspiring pastor from the Methodist (I think) Church.

Of course our very own state delegate Ben Barnes was there – he is the lead sponsor of the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act. I really appreciate ‘straight allies’ like Ben Barnes and my friends. They have nothing personally to gain in supporting our cause and if they’re in politics they have arguably something to lose.

There was also a transgendered speaker addressing us; perhaps not the most eloquent person and with the prize of marriage dangling before us, we weren’t as supportive as we could have been, I fear. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be transgendered, but then I would think a straight person can’t imagine what it would be like to be a gay person. Empathy is something I need to develop.

After freezing our way through the rally, which I think Equality Maryland’s Executive Director Dan Furmansky cut short because of the freezing temperatures, we trooped off to our lobby meetings. I live in Maryland’s District 21 and our ten-person group met with Delegate Barnes, Delegate Jocelyn Peña-Malnyk, and Senator Jim Rosapepe, who unlike the rest of our delegation is not only not a co-sponsor of marriage equality, but isn’t even sure if he would vote for it should it come to him for a vote. Mind you, even with that, we had an easier time than those coming to see (for example) anti-gay Senator Janet Greenip (surprise surprise a Republican) from Crofton (she has sponsored a constitutional amendment to ban marriage equality) or Delegate Don Dwyer (yet another Republican from Anne Arundel County) who is also notably hostile to my community.

Del. Barnes had a transgendered lady talk to us and then we spent time first applauding and thanking him for his support, and then trying to convince Sen. Rosapepe to get off the fence.

He seemed intrigued by the benefits which marriage, as opposed to civil unions would confer but some unfortunate comments from one of our group seemed to give the impression we thought the same benefits were guaranteed in other states or by the federal government, in spite of DOMA. I wonder if he will use his ‘discovery’ that this is not the case to justify opposing marriage equality. He also wanted to know if we would accept civil unions if equality looked too hard to get – which may have been a thin end of a wedge. I do feel proud that we are being asked to accept civil unions and not swallow a ban like people in other states have had to, but still – separate but equal always becomes separate but unequal is unwieldy at best (how do you keep it equal if laws are proposed that quietly restrict this or that new procedure or right or responsibility to ‘husband and wife’ and stealthily leave out civil unionists) and a ticket to second class citizenship in any event.

I must remember to write out letters of thanks for our delegates and Senator Rosapepe. I’ll have fewer distractions tonight since a tall truck passed our house and ripped out our TV and internet cable. It won’t be fixed until Wednesday. This happens constantly. I’m getting sick of it and I and C need to make a fuss with the city about it – it’s dangerous and inconvenient and costly. Either the cables need to be higher or the city needs to bad trucks over a certain height from the stretch of street in front of our house. I can’t see why I should put up with this – if anyone ever snags the mains there’ll be a real hazard.And I have to spend primary night without television coverage. I’m still not decided who to go for – Her or Him. I’m leaning Her but I think He has a better chance to beat McCain in a general election. After voting to night C and I’ll go to Panera to check to e-mail and the news. At least some good movies have arrived and there are a lot I’ve not seen that I bought or had give to me. Witness and The Trip stand out. Ben Barnes

Now I know there’s not been much eye candy of late, so here’s some political eye candy- my very own delegate Ben Barnes. Trust me – he’s even more handsome in person. Actually he’s not merely eye-candy but a forward-thinking political leader and somebody I’m glad and proud to have represent me in Annapolis. (I had to put that there in case he reads this – have to prove I’m not always trivializing.)

(Added – our cable is still out, and I’m still very busy at work so just when I’m excited about relating my thoughts about marriage equality, Raphael Laus, Ben Barnes and his inspiring life story, and Georgian (the dative case), I can’t for a while. Can you forgive me? With this ice storm, I doubt our cable will be back on tomorrow. Gloom accumulates.)

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Monday Unfunday

The conference call went off okay; I’m not looking forward to going to Lobby Day this afternoon as it’s bloody freezing outside. And I have to park at the USNA Stadium and take a free bus to downtown; but I’m not sure where to get off the bus. I have this deep fear of not getting off a bus at my correct stop and winding up miles from my desination – perhaps because it actually happened to me in Atlanta once.

Who knew leeks were so tasty? We had salmon on a bed of leeks yesterday evening and it was delicious. I’ll have to have them again. Would you like the recipe? It marinated the salmon in lime juice, honey and soy sauce. It looked so pretty when it came out of the oven.

Just posting this now because today will be a horribly busy day and in the middle of it I have to ask for a bit of time off to go to Lobby Day. I’m already repeating to myself that it can’t last forever. Please keep up the comments!

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Some Good, Some Bad

Some good, some bad is what the last few days have been like.  Wednesday I went to the gym and did 51 minutes.  Thursday I didn’t, however, but enjoyed a casual and odd dinner with C (we grazed off salami sandwiches and snacks and things).  Friday I took the day off to go to my counsellor Alan and to have the 30,000 mile service done on our car.

Friday was a good day for intake, in that I took a heck of a lot in.  So really a bad day for intake. First, C and I had lunch at Plato’s, a local diner, which was actually good, in that I had a really nice omelette with feta cheese and vegetarian sausage. After talking about what food means to me with Alan, which was fairly inconclusive but we did go over how I don’t need to please the restauranteur by ordering a lot (sometimes I feel like I have to avoid disappointing the place or I have to get the waiter/ress to ‘like me’ by ordering a lot of food and a lot of courses).  (Especially if the waiter is cute.) Looked at that way, it’s fairly ridiculous an idea.

For lunch though I went to Gah Rham, an all you can eat Korean buffet, which I used to like but which I now see isn’t worth it – I left the table feeling bloated and sick. I do like Korean food though, and there are better diners. Perhaps it was just the big breakfast.

For dinner the Friday Night Club tried one of my suggestions – the Nautilus diner in Crofton. I thought the food was good, actually, and they certainly have a very extensive menu, which I appreciate. It was, however, very very noisy because the Arundel High School wrestling team were in and seated (when they actually sat down) near us. They were shouting between tables and generally being far too loud, but the manager did shut them up at my request. I don’t think I was the first person to ask for them to be quiet.

This of course meant that I never got to the gym but I did go after Neal on Saturday and did 53 minutes (big ups for me!).  It was lovely actually, only a few other people, very quiet. Just how I like it. I mean if you’re not going to have hotties galore, then it’s better to be just “personably empty.” Called in for Chinese delivery because we were both far to lazy to tackle the salmon with leeks which I’m making tonight. I’ve never cooked a leek before so I’m actually looking forward to it. The salmon is done with a honey and soy marinade so it should be sticky and tangy.

Got my mane shaved and sheared today.

Enough About Food!

In a few (seven) minutes I’ll have to break contact and join in a teleconference which is training for tomorrow’s Equality Maryland Lobby Day. We’re trying to meet with our legislators in Maryland to convince them to support civil marriage equality for all Marylanders. There is a small chance it will pass. I just hope that I will be able to take an hour and a half off work to attend it. If you are a Marylander, please contact your legislator and tell him or her that you support civil marriage equality. I’m lucky that my local three Assemblypersons do but our Senator doesn’t seem to so he’s the one I’ll have to work on.  (Five minutes now.)

I’m actually quite nervous about a lot of things — from where do I park (Annapolis is very crowded) to what am I supposed to say. I want to do a good job (and not be late). I’ll post notes about the training after dinner.

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