Tag Archives: WW

My Story

This is part one of a series of posts I’ll put up as part of my implementing a program of losing fat.

Don’t worry, eye candy will be back soon!

I was always averse to sports. One reason was that I never knew how to play the games. I remember the times that I was sent out to play football (soccer) in school in England having no idea what to do, except an idea that I was wrong. Oh, and it was cold all the time.

But then we came to America and it got worse. I was always shy about my body and I hated having to change in gym class. But that was only half of it. First off I was totally unprepared for how hot it was. Then because I was different I was (quite ironically) called the class faggot which was very traumatic. I think then I began to really think of a huge gulf between me and ‘normal guys.’ The teasing and verbal abuse was constant. I remember feeling very disgusted and almost raped when we had to play ‘shirts versus skins.’ Why was I made to partially disrobe? I felt so annoyed. I can remember the feeling today. I went from not quite knowing how to play soccer and cricket to having no idea how to play baseball or basketball.

And of course home life was full of turmoil. I think that this is when I began to ‘sneak’ food from my parents’ fridge and kitchen cupboards. I remember it was my way to have something ‘special’ in my life, and in some way it was my role in the family–in that I always did it, and they always moaned. It didn’t matter what I ate; cheese or savory things, or sweets. It was all the same. I thought of myself as very clever avoiding sometimes getting caught, but I was caught and moaned at all the time.

Things got a little better in high school and I was even in the marching band, but my sense of being utterly out of place in athletics was pretty much set. I did have one gym teacher who set me to running around the track, but then I got shin splints and between that and my moaning he gave up. In high school I pretty quick figured out that if I took ‘recreational games’ for my mandatory gym class, I would get to see the football studs (oh, Stewart Brandenburg how gorgeous you were) taking a PE class without exerting themselves, while not exerting myself. One horror though; I was mistakenly placed in a weightlifting class. I show up and all I hear is about sweaty balls in jock straps and stuff – again with the unwanted sexual references – and I skedaddled to the guidance and scheduling office toute de suite to get back into my desired class. Why all this emphasis on sexual innuendo when you’re teaching a skill and encouraging performance? And at such an age when these things are shameful for being too developed or not developed enough…or as in my case, developed in the wrong direction.

PE teachers, please, treat your students like students, there to learn and not to hear about testicles or to be forcibly stripped. Honestly. Try.


Filed under Exercise, Resolutions

The Ages of Man (and Woman)

It’s strange. I was reading Richard Lawson’s hilarious recap of the latest episode of NYC Prep and he said something rather insightful (he nearly always does):

The funny, sad, wonderful, tough thing about youth is that it’s so many firsts. So much of everything is the first time. And it’s great, because you get to feel new every day! But it’s scary, because so much of the world seems to loom over you, to know so much more than you. And you wish yourself into the future, into that faraway time when you’re settled and able. How dumb that is. How dumb it is to not want the first blush forever.

And you know, that’s true. I remember a time when nearly everything, every new discovery about life beyond the confines of home, was something fresh and marvelous and new. And when everything new seemed to make me new, change me in all sorts of wonderful ways. I guess I thought life would always be like that, always full of new starts and restarts, fresh golden apple experience, the first kiss, the first time making love (amazing how sophisticated a fumble in a car made me feel), the first time interviewing for and getting a job, the first time attending a college class. Everything was effortlessly marvelous, as in full of marvels. When…

… you put your head on a pillow and felt like an entirely different being all of a sudden. Someone who knew something small, who’d found a golden kernel of knowledge and taken it, joyously.

But while recalling that time of continuous novelty, what I remember most is being just as ‘foolish’ as Lawson says youth are – I wanted to be settled and domesticated and safe. The thing is, now, at a certain age, I don’t feel wise or smart, even though I do feel settled. But here’s where I disagree with Mr. Lawson. I think the first blush forever would be too unsettled, too mentally tiring after awhile.

But then – maybe that’s because I can’t help seeing it from my current perspective. Maybe somehow how we see the world is how we need to, on some level, when it comes to this area. Or at least perhaps it could be. I’m older than 20, so to me it’s good, it’s a relief of that period (and there were travails – lack of money, lack of knowledge, lack of wisdom, needlessly making things tougher on my life than they had to be) are over. I didn’t know how to manage my money or my affairs, for example, whereas I do, a bit(!) now. I’ve got a man who loves me and whom I love, with no drama or foolishness, but with the contentment of knowing that we mean to be together forever. I remember wishing for that so badly.

And then I think ahead, say twenty years, and people that age seem contented with their time of life too, or at least the ones I know do. So I’m hoping that I will be too, then. I hope I remember not to forget what life is like at 20, or 40.

Yes, yes, but what’ve you been up to?

Well, the past week at work was quite good, I actually had something to do, which is easier than sitting around wondering if I’m wasting my life.
Medically (I hate that I have to have a paragraph for that) I’m not doing so well. I mentioned that I got a cortisone shot for my heel pain. So I couldn’t go to the gym all week. So I’m sure I’ve gained weight. Because I’ve oversnacked. And yesterday while walking around, I suddenly felt this horrible sharp pain in my hip whenever I started to take a step (stretched my leg out to do so).
Now the doc told me to stay away from the gym until my bursitis was ‘resolved’ which I take to mean ‘gone away.’ Not happened yet. He also told me to ice it every evening. Only did that twice so far. In other words, some of this is my fault. I was on a great trajectory say Wednesday, figuring I could go back to walking soon, but Thursday instead of getting a bit better like it had done very day, it got a bit worse. So I’m scared quite frankly – I didn’t get the relief that cortisone normally gives and I can’t have more until three months. I can’t stay away from the gym forever.
PSIf anyone has any advice I’d be grateful.
It’s doubly important because this guy from work whom you see here, and whom I find very sexy, has agreed to teach me how to use the big scary weight machines at the gym. The drawback is that I have to be there at 0545 ready to go but it’ll make a man of me, or something. A sleepy man.
Yesterday the husband and I went down in Bob to Charlottesville, VA, specifically to a shop called Food of All Nations. Well, most nations, anyway. We wandered around–this is where I started getting the shooting pain in my hip. I have to say that I honestly believe that with a combination of Whole Foods (aka Whole Paycheck Foods), MOM’s Organic Market, and some ethnic stores (Italian, Korean/Asian, German, Afghan/Middle Eastern) and mail order, we can get everything from a lot closer than Charlottesville. Which is not to say I’m not glad that this store is so far away because they really do have things from all over. I bought some South African rusks, some English cheese and chocolate bars, they have Australian Vegemite, German ‘fitness bread‘ and other goodies from all IMG_0255over.
Today we did nothing. I watched a bit of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and am trying to decide if I’ll like the show enough to follow it.
To get to Charlottesville I had to put gas in the car, where I caught sight of this random studmuffin pumping away. Oh, I’m such a perve, aren’t I?
C planned the garden a bit more and wondered if he should water it. Our favourite man-candy Gilmar Rodrigues can also get creative with a garden hose and what has to be the most daring use of damp shorts I’ve ever seen (click on the smaller images to see the full breadth and length of his … creativity).

Gilmar Rodrigues 08_01 Gilmar Rodrigues 08_02 Gilmar Rodrigues 08_03
Gilmar Rodrigues 08_04
Gilmar Rodrigues 08_05 Gilmar Rodrigues 08_06 Gilmar-Rodrigues-08_07-tm.jpg Gilmar Rodrigues 08_08 Gilmar Rodrigues 10_02g Gilmar-Rodrigues-10_03g-tm.jpg Gilmar-Rodrigues-10_04g-tm.jpg Gilmar Rodrigues 10_05g
Gilmar Rodrigues 10_07g Gilmar Rodrigues 10_08g
(I like a man who knows what to do with his hose)

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Filed under Cute Guys, Family, Fun and Relaxation

Day One and a Half of Discipline

Yesterday I was a little under, today I’m fighting the urge to go get some chocolate from the vending machine. Ohh sweet forgiving yielding loving chocolate. But I intend to hold out at least until the weekend so I’m saving points for the long stretch.

Yes! Our work week is shaping up thusly: tomorrow is our “Organization Day” – office picnic. I will bring my camera and get lots of snaps of hunky servicemen doing various kinds of sports, if you’d like. (And why wouldn’t you?)

Friday is a “DONSA” (Day Of No Scheduled Activity, used to be called a ‘training holiday’) so the Soldiers are all gone and we’ll probably be let out early (I’m coming in late from having a follow up blood letting in the morning) and Friday’s Independence Day (Observed). So things are starting to wind down…right this moment.

What’s strange is that about  now I sit and revel in the slowing down but about 30 minutes from now, which will be about 30 minutes before I’m due to leave, I’ll start to panic about all the things I’ve not done. Gasp! I must make lists! I must do this! I must do that!

But I’m working up the “oomph” to go work out (yesterday’s work out was dismal – I forgot my headphones so no Real Housewives or Bear Grylls (nude or otherwise) or even edifying Fitness Rocks podcast. And there was no eye candy – not a bit. (Oh, how I wish I found black guys sexy – I was the only white male there.) I only managed to knock out thirty minutes. Came home and watched TV and ate C’s delicious salad – with tuna and avocado. Mmmm good.

Tonight after the gym I have to get gasoline/petrol or I won’t make it home. I hate when this happens, as much as I hate coming home from work and gym, only to find I have to go back out again for this or that errand. Well, hate’s a strong word. Dislike.

Breathless Shirtlessness

We’re still waiting breathlessly for the next installment of Handsome Hunks of Home Improvement, so we’ll take a few more looks at Nick Beyeler, who probably (a) isn’t scoping out male eye candy (b) does a lot more than thirty minutes of cardio and (c) can’t help but look sexy at the gym. All in utter contrast to me.



(Sometimes, one is just speechless.)

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Filed under Cute Guys, Exercise, Health, Work